I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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