Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
