It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize