batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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