So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
