dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Who died my cat blue again?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
