he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
