im six kinds of drunk right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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