ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
