Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
