we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
