He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i think my cat just said my name.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
