Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
