I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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