i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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