No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
