I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize