hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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