i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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