i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
