all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
