There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
