she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
