Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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