you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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