Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
