i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
a search helicopter?!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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