i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
