Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize