I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
