Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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