This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize