i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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