I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
