I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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