Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
