I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
