Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
