Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize