She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
