I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
