Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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