Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
