ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you win again, gameday.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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