Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
