I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
