That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
