im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize