i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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