He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
