White coat. Heels.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
