Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
