first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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