obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
