Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
