2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
