so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so let's talk penis.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
