I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
